The Longest 60 Seconds of Thor’s Half-Life


Marvel’s Greatest Tactical Errors: BONUS ROUND … ZOUNDS!

After watching several failed attempts to breach in invisible dome-like barrier growing in New York, Thor decides, “Hark! I shall hurleth mine enchanted uru hammer into yon impenetrable barrier, by Balder’s bladder! This shall I do, by Odin’s Beard! Don’t try to stop me, the Odinson, by Surtur’s Fire! Odd’s blood and yea verily, I shall not be dissuaded, by Volstagg’s Buffet! By Sif’s Ample Bosom, my course is set, come Ragnarok or high water. Here throweth it I, by Loki’s Wii!”

Umm … it didn’t work out well, forcing him to scamper from the scene like that astronaut who wore diapers. On that note, Cap (having a bad “A” day) is actually referencing the little-known and rather delicate sub-level enchantment: 

  • The first is Mjolnir always returns to Thor’s hands.
  • The second is after 60 seconds without yon hammer he reverts to Donald Blake.
  • The third is only those “worthy” (ELITISTS!) may wield the hammer of Thor.
  • The fourth is … well …  the hammer may be bereft of motion, but … about the astronaut and those diapers …

 Thor prepares for the thunderclap

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