Okay … so it ain’t Thursday, but I couldn’t wait to share the Marvel BadAss(es) awards this week. I love the holidays for so many reasons … not the least of which is seeing what my favorite artists whip up to celebrate the season. This week, I couldn’t pick just one…not when David Lopez, Evan Shaner and Micahel Cho whipped up this incredible trio of Holiday Badass-ness!
And, make sure to visit David’s blog to read his annual holiday story. As a kid raised on the graphic novels of Will Eisner, I was right at home reading this!
Behold! Majestic bloggery!
- David Lopez: http://davizlapizlopez.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-tale.html?spref=fb
- Evan Shaner: http://www.evanshaner.com/
- Michael Cho: http://chodrawings.blogspot.com/
Stop the presses! Santa … this is what I want for Chistmas. It combines two of my favorite things (and acronyms) in the world — M.O.D.O.K. and W.P.A. style. Seriously, I am in love here.
I couldn’t find much on the graphic artist, other than his name is Ryan Harris and he has a Tumblr site … and much bigger version of this poster. Mr. Harris, wherever you are, I salute you.
Well, *NOW* I am finally ready for Christmas as I load the last day of the 12 Days of Uncanny X-Mas! It’s been a really fun time ringing in the season with mad mutant love. Big, big, big, big holiday ups to my partner in crime on the 12 Days – Matt, the sardonic, sarcastic tsar of www.ComicsCavern.com. The man has a gift for comedy … hell, it’s damn near a mutant power to make people laugh!
So, kick back, read and celebrate the season with our favorite representatives of ho-ho-homo superior! Click the image to embiggen! And, if you like it, please share it with friends.
This week’s Marvel BadAss Award goes to Chris Samnee for this insanely cool Iron Man sketch. For my money, it doesn’t get cooler than the red and gold armor … and Chris wrings every drop of coolness out of it here. And, in black and white, no less.
Chris’ blog, featuring a daily sketch, is a required daily visit here in the Fortress of Smartassitude … and if you’re not following him on Twitter, well … you’re just missing out. Why don’t you just visit by clicking here and stop depriving yourself? You can even bring a little bit of his brilliance home with something from his store.
DISCLAIMER: This message was not endorsed by Chris Samnee. It was paid for by … well … WordPress. This blog is free, baby.
This art from www.ChrisSamnee.com.
This is another new category of exploration here in Smartassville … the twisted mind of John Byrne.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Like many of you, I worshipped all things Johnny B. back in the day. Loved X-Men. Loved Fantastic Four. LOVED Man of Steel. But, now and again, I find a panel of two that really demonstrate how truly odd he was. Not in the superhuman plots, mind you. In the glimpses of “real life” he included — what his warped Canadian brain thought of as normal. HINT: It usually involved characters with mullets and cut off T-shirts. Like this panel below from Avengers West Coast #54.
It’s not really terrifying that Wonder Man is carrying a giant scaled monster above a city … but, rather, that there’s a beach where mulletted dudes wear stripped muscle shirts from the 20s and Herculean infants (seriously, look at the baby arms in the bottom right corner) push grown women on swings. What kind of frelled up scene is this!?!? Please, Wondy, drop the monster there! Rid the world of this insane place!
(To top it all off, the blonde in the bottom left has wicked bad split ends.)
UPDATE: This just in (okay, not “just” as I have no idea when you’re reading this) … an update from Twitter:
@DazzledFirestar: To be fair, John Bryne’s weirdness is not due to him being Canadian. Trust me, as a Canadian, that’s still weird and scary.
Judge’s ruling … yep. We’ll accept that. John Byrne not weird BECAUSE he’s Canadian. He is weird because he’s weird and he HAPPENS TO BE Canadian. Important distinction. Thanks, Daz.
My little Marvel Smartasses, thrill to the villainy of a mid-level management miscreant we working joes can recognize from our 9 to 5’s … Meet K.O.D.O.M. … Kid-Brother Organism Designed Only to Micro-Manage.
Unlike George Tarleton, who was an A.I.M. scientist who was tapped to become M.O.D.O.K. , K.O.D.O.M. has absolutely no qualifications to manage. He is, in fact, the red-headed mutated form of Jason Lively, who starred as Rusty in European Vacation and, more importantly, Fred Dekker’s classic Night of the Creeps!
(Incredibly, Jason is also the brother of Blake Lively of “Gossip Girl. Seriously, how are they from the same gene pool!?!?!”)
He’s not a scientist. He’s not good at his job. He’s not helpful. He’s annoying. He’s creepy. He’s deceptively nice. He’s going to throw you under the bus over the matter of a FAX cover sheet you used that he doesn’t like.
This red-headed freak is, in fact, Marvel’s answer to Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch. He kinda looks like Oliver, too.
Inspired by this hilarious story of a woman getting fired over forgetting her boss was a Facebook friend and the equally hilarious site, Oh Crap! My Parents Joined Facebook, here’s an all-new issue of “A.I.M. High.
You are going to want to see the SUPER ULTRA MEGA BIG version of this one.
This is the first of a new Thursday feature — Marvel Bad Ass! Each week, I’ll pluck my favorite find from my Internet exploration of the Marvel U.
This week was easy, a fantastic pencil of Bobbi Morse in her Huntress costume from Marvel Super Action #1 by Mockingnerd– perhaps the biggest Bobbi Morse/Mockingbird fan in the univserse and a really cool lady. Check our her blog here.
To quote DJ Kool … let me clear my throat …
I’m a smart ass. I like to speak my mind, so that means I’m very close friends with the first ammendment. And, that requries me to be open to all opinions as well as my own.
Image from http://ismarkevaniermentallyill.blogspot.com/
My last post noted I don’t really appreciate Vince Colletta’s work on Thor or generally on Jack Kirby’s work. I prefer dark, bold inks to compliment Kirby’s larger than life style. The delicate, light cross-hatching Colletta used on much of Thor ain’t my cup o’ tea. But, that doesn’t mean I dislike his work in other comics and genres. He is a comics legend. And deserves such status.
Blogger Dan McFan took a little more exception to my words than were intended. I don’t necessarily agree with him or some of the ways he expresses his love for Colletta’s work, but his passion is palpable and he’s assembled a very interesting collection of art on his blog. Click here to read, enjoy and form your own opinion.
Okay… so, I love Marvel Comics. We all get that, right? Here’s another reason why … innocence. Check out this panel from Journey Into Mystery #112. The story sets up a titanic showdown between the God of Thunder and the Rampaging Hulk at a time when fighting the Green Monster was a mark … Thing vs. Hulk, Avengers vs. Hulk, etc. Click here to read up on the issue.
This panel is on page 2, and is all about Thor sitting down with some fightin’ fanboys who are arguing in the street over who’s the biggest bad ass, Thor or Hulk. So, the fair-haired god sits down for a little chat with them. It’s all part of Stan and Jack making their heroes relatable. Heck, Marvel heroes will sit down a spell and tell you war stories. Would Superman design to do that? Batman would just punch you in the face and arrest you for jaywalking!
But, take out the dialogue … and look at it with jaded, sarcastic 2009 eyes. Doesn’t it look like he’s telling them about a childhood memory of when he was molested by the Midgard Serpent? Yes, I know it’s sick…but you thought it, too.
Tonight ... on a very special "Journey Into Mystery" ...
On a non-smartass note, Jack Kirby’s work is beautifully inked by the incomparable Chic Stone. The King’s work was made or broken by his inkers. When Vince Colletta inked Thor… not so much. But, give Jack Chic Stone or Mike Royer … your head explodes.
Yesterday’s venture into the creations of my youth was wonderfully cathartic. So, I thought I’d double-dip.
“Avengers Dissassembled”!?!?! Brave!?!?! Avant garde!?!?! Please. Bendis, it’s been done.
In the mid-80s, despite brisk sales attained in 10% of the households on Cloudland Drive in Nashville, TN, ground-breaking publisher, Fantasti-Comics, Inc., chose to courageously kill off each member of Squad-Force X in just its third issue, even the very popular Cat’s Eye, whose striking resemblance to the Thundercats Panthro was mere a coincidence. Tapping into the cultural zeitgeist, if you will.
That’s realism. That’s boldness. That’s making the comic universe YOUR universe! That’s four very phallic looking missiles in the background.
P.S. You have to love that Dragon Knight [the only survivor] wore his cape OVER his radiation suit. His medieval dedication to super heroic couture is unrivaled.
Yes. The bad guys DID take the time to bury the heroes! Thanks for asking.
As I have spent the last four months poking gentle fun of others’ creations, perhaps it’s time to apply my patented blend of smartassery on one of my own creations … 
It was 1985. I was 12. I read a book on Norse mythology and became convinced that Stan Lee and Jack Kirby had missed the boat on a VERY marketable god. Thor? Odin? Sif? Balder? Losers. Why not, Ull, God of Hunting and Skiing?
He would be the actual god, no human avatar, but would be a world-class archer and, of course, a genius inventor.
Mr. Ull is the handsome chap in the back right.
No one puts Ull in the corner. Now, out of Odin’s shadow, he stood, poised to take the mantle of Marvel’s most Ewok-like god.
Just in case you weren't sure, Ull demonstrates the proper way to hold a magic arrow.
It was killing me … why wasn’t ull taking off? Of course, he needed a team around him … and a rocket powered sled he stole from Kris Kringle.
P.S. Check out the crazy, red and white striped dude in the back. He was “Graphixxx” (must have three x’s). He put on a special belt and became a cartoon character. When I saw Slapstick years later, I almost fell over.
And, when firing a laser at a clawed, demon-like monster (left) wouldn’t any self-respecting meta-human wish for SFX that’s a little more imposing than, “Paf”?
Any resemblances you see to the Hulk, Shawdowcat, Giant-Man and Dr. Fate are purely coincidental as I was totally ripping them off.
After years of failing to gain the notoriety he so richly deserves, Ull tried to make a late 90s return with a more earthy look and and a new attitude ready to take on his mortal enemy, PETA.
Ull added shades after seeing a late-night showing of “The Matrix” in Valhalla and dumped the hood. After all, what Norse god could be taken seriously with blue, furry ears?
In retrospect, the decision to create an “Ice and Water” partnership with Aquarias, the groovy, black Aqua Man, was an ill-conceived move by the mightly god of winter sports. Ull did, however, land a lucrative contract as a teddy bear model at Gund.
He still lifts weights and expects a call any day from Kieron Gillen.
He's dark ... he's deep ... he has a forelock that hangs in front of his goggle!
In honor of the unveiling of the Iron Man 2 poster,I double dip into my love of Tales of Suspense #48.
As you may have seen in my earlier post on this issue, I love many, many things about TOS #48. The gorgeous Steve Ditko art and the absurdity of a villan who wears a green sweatshirt, bizarro blue hood (which does not protect his identity in any way), names himself the imposing Mr. Doll (kinda like calling yourself “Commander Menopause” — “Fear my hot flash of doom!!!!”). Best of all, Mr. Doll forces the redesign of the original gray/gold armor.
There’s more to love. Who doesn’t love a great jump cut scene in a movie as the hero vigorously arms himself/herself for battle by stapping on loads of guns!?!? Rambo. Ripley. Sgt. Nicholas Angel. (For my money, the fashioning of Ash’s iron hand in “Army of Darkness” is the best of the lot.). Well, Mr. Tony Stark gave us a prep scene of his own as over 3 pages and 24 panels, Ditko debuted the red and gold Iron Man Mark 2.0. Awesome. Click here for a bigger version.
The only thing that would make this better would be if Tony turned to Pepper at the end and proclaimed, “Groovy!”
John Bryne is a sick man. A sick, sick man. Evidence: Avengers West Coast #51
I love Marvel Comics for their pure wild abandon. Evidence: Avengers West Coast #51
A few months ago, a writer friend of mine and I debated whether or not comics could really scare you. After all, you control the environment in which you read them. There are no sound effects, pacing tricks or camera shots to heighten your sense of fear. At best, they can disgust you. I begged to differ. Two comics have scared the hell out of me and stayed with me.
One is the Creepshow comic. Honestly. It took me years to summon the courage to touch green moss (meteorcrap!) or kill a cockroach after reading that as a 12-year-old boy.
The other is the reappearance of Master Pandemonium in Avengers West Coast. Introduced in WCA #4 … the guy was a total doofus. But, by issue #51, he stole the effing souls of Scarlet Witch’s two sons and made them into his effing arms and hands. Ick! As drawn by John Byrne, this is some sick shit. And, it stayed with me for years … so I have to love it.
This comic gives the term “baby arm” a whole new meaning. (I couldn’t resist.)
Master Pandemonium flourishes his baby arm ... ahem ... arms.
I love the 60s. Such a time of feigned innocence. Political correctness meant knowing the right way to shake hands at a Kiwanis meeting, and, the Fantastic Four’s playfulness with Sue Storm was seen as cute.
That’s why this sequence from Fantastic Four #38 is so amazing looking back with 2009 eyes. In just two panels, there’s enough to make Gloria Steinem and Naomi Wolf assault Marvel HQ with the fire arrows from Braveheart. First, the Thing looks to be ready to administering a playful spanking to Ms. Storm … and then he and Reed play flickball with her. Score!
Actually, Sue may deserve a spanking for getting that haircut.
Honestly, this is Stan and Jack keeping the book lighthearted. The FF were a family. They loved each other. They weren’t afraid to have fun with their crazy lives and power. and Sue was the adored kid sister — well, not so much for Reed.
But, now, just a year Tigra’s beating/rape? at the hands of The Hood’s villains and Sue Dibny’s rape/beating/murder pissing loads of readers off (including me, I admit, as the father of two girls) … this scene just seems so antiquated and naive. And, it makes me not just a little nostalgic for a time when I didn’t know so much about how badly men can treat women in real life.
In case you haven’t noticed from my posts, I adore the golden/silver ages. I read comics for an escape. I have enough real life in my real life.
In the age of the Greg Land, Mike Deodato, Bryan Hitch and others, we’re getting very used to looking for actors,public figures and Victoria’s Secret models (ahem … Land) in the faces of our favorite super heroes. It’s not suprising when Samuel L. Jackson appears as Nick Fury or Tommy Lee Jones stars as Norman Osborn.
But, I was suprised to see a familiar (albiet perhaps not a really famous one) face when perusing a freshly-digitized issue of West Coast Avengers on Marvel.com … Brian Thompson, Alien Bounty Hunter and psycho killer from everything from “Chuck” to Stallone’s “Cobra” to hunting down agents Scully and mulder. Call me crazy, I think the muscled-up, kinda’ ugly Mr. Thompson was John Byrne’s inspiration for a muscled-up, kinda’ ugly, super-patriotic John Walker.
P.S. Don’t think you know this guy? Check out his IMDB profile. This dude has worked continuously since getting his butt kicked with Bill Paxton in “Terminator.”
This is a fantastic example of the classic Kirby first page. The opening prologue is punctuated with loads of dramatic Kirby Crackle. And, then, there’s that alien. Oh, the alien. Is it just me, or is that alien just a little too excited?
Best of all, Cap’s sidekick in this issue is … Hendricks. HENDRICKS! I love it. Start the petition now. We want a ”Hendricks: Origin” Limited Series!
LOCAL ANCHOR MAN: What happened today, Mr. Hendricks?
HENDRICKS: Well, suh, I was tending to my fields, bustin’ up some chiffarobes and whatnot, and this great big flyin’ saucer come out of the sky and landed in mah field. I went inside and a big pink alien was tryin’ to make the animal husbandry on Captain America hisself. I just knew, I needed to find a weapon and kill me that alien. So, I done it.
LOCAL ANCHOR MAN: You are a true, American hero, Mr. Hendricks.
Guys … this one is easy. I am going to gush forth a lot of digital love today. (Stay away from me, Chris Hansen.)
You have to love that there was a comic called, “Journey Into Mystery” … and that it made it to 107 issues by this point.
You have to love Stan and Jack created a villain named “The Grey Gargoyle” … and that they repeated his origin in each of his first four appearances almost verbatim.
And, that said villain could be seen as worth of going toe to toe with a god.
But, you’ve really got to appreciate that they show him getting into costume …
Dr. Doom Ettiquette Note: One must take time to get one's villainous boots on properly, lest one be horribly embarassed.
And, that, when attacking Dr. Donald Blake, his weapon of choice is … a paper airplane he turns into stone. I FREAKIN’ LOVE THAT!!!!!! Only in Marvel, kids. They’re here all week. Try the veal.
Modern comics are nice, but I have always … always … had an affinity for the classics. And, J.I.M. has been a particular favorite. I even tried to mount a relaunch of the title in 1985, but Marvel somehow did not take a shine to the hand-drawn, un-inked covers I mailed … with no stories inside. Go figure. Evidence Below.
Please, don’t ask me what “Klink the Iron Knight” was going to be all about. Or, what “J.O.E.” stands for in “Godakin J.O.E.” Or, even what “Godakin” means. I’m not sure I ever really had a plan.
Okay. So. I apologize. I vanished off the face of the earth for a bit.
No, it wasn’t Galactus. The Demons of Belasco didn’t haunt me. I wasn’t lost in the nagtive zone. Kang did not pull me out of time. But, work, kids, stress and Sarah Palin’s cover of Newsweek did have me heading for the hills.
But, I’m back. And I’m Smartassier than ever. Enjoy.
I know what you're thinking. I want that costume, too.
You have to stay up really late to catch this one on “Game Show Network. “ View a bigger version here.
P.S. You don’t even want to know the strangest place Dr. Zola has ever made whoopee.
I am sad to report that Tony Robbins and Zig Ziglar have been eaten by a 13-story monster made of Jell-O, leaving the status of the world’s best motivational speaker up for grabs.
And, like the Cylons, Dr. Arnim Zola has a plan …
Click here for a super-sized version.
Your mommy doesn't want you to think about what you could do with a face on your belly.
Remember Kids: It’s always okay to brag on yourself during your annual review.
Want to see an embiggened version? Click here.
Remember kids: No matter what Walter Bishop says, the periodic table and psychotropic drugs are not the two great tastes that taste great together.
For a version super embiggened for your reading pleasure, click here.
This is the greatest undercover assignment Agent 13's ever had ...
Okay, guys, here’s my latest experiment in Marvel Smartass-ery. I have always loved the beekeeper boys in yellow. And, I know it isn’t exactly original, but this is my take on life in an A.I.M. laboratory.
Please let me know what ya’ll (yeah, I’m Southern) think …
Hey, Mamma Grimm’s blue-eyed boy is one tough S.O.B., but fighting the likes of Galactus, Dr. Doom, Blastaar and Puppet Master (okay, not so much that one) can bind you up even if you’re made out of orange boulders.
On second thought, this panel is just wrong …
For the really deep massage, they bring out the unstable molecules.
